Monday, 30 November 2015

Ever tried, ever failed? Try again. Fail better.


Failure, the unspoken evil that the society tries its best to avoid. A social stigma, a cause for shame and a black spot on the supposed to be sparkling white fabric of one's "life". Failure, a symbol of incompetency, lack of required level of smartness/intelligence and sluggishness. Failure, an event that doesn't accomplish its intended purpose or in this case, a person that doesn't accomplish his intended purpose.



Failure stands for a hundred other things like this. A hundred other words to remind you how you couldn't make it work, how you 'failed'.
If you google up failure, you will find a picture of a person sitting depressed with his head in his hands often with red or black backgrounds. Apparently, that's what failure does to you, drives you into depression and self loathing, it does indeed. It sends you into a dark corner where nobody is going to come touch you. The only people who will come to see you will be the ones who pity you.
Failure is the taboo that people are ashamed of. Failure is not something you bring upon to yourself on purpose, failure is neither something you can avoid forever. One fails in life innumerable times. One has to. Without failures, what would success mean? Without failures how would we innovate? And without failures, how would we grow?
Failures are often looked down upon in the society, often associated with loads of negativity and often considered best to avoid. But is that really necessary? Are failures that bad? Are failures that harmful? Infact, are they harmful at all? And is it in our best interests to try and to succeed at all times? Yes we must always try to succeed but does that mean we must always avoid failure?
"Failures are the stepping stones to success" they say, and I couldn't agree more. Failures are experiences that you learn from, experiences that hold you back and force you to contemplate on your methods when you would have otherwise preferred to run ahead. 
Failures are experiments gone wrong that are just as important as the ones that went right.
Failures are the lessons from the books you didn't read. Failures are your chance to stop, look around and change.
Most of our failures are ignored and considered bad luck. Most of the times, we discourage failures and fail to give the people who failed a second chance owing to the negative conception associated with failure. But its time we change that, its time we seek the wisdom that lies in our failures. Failures are not just a red colour on our report cards, they're proof that we tried. Failures are proof that there was effort. It is these failures that help us be humble. It is these failures that help us understand the meaning of struggles and that help us become stronger.
Must we judge them so negatively? Must people who have failed suffer because they tried and they couldn't make it? Shouldn't they be given another chance?
Shouldn't they be given kudos for making an effort?
Had people judged themselves for their failures, maybe failure wouldn't be so dark after all. Maybe judgements on others failures wouldn't be so harsh and maybe then, when we googled up failure, we would see a picture of someone trying harder.
Had people judged themselves for their failures, failures would be a learning curve, failures would be an experience.
So lets judge ourselves for the moments we've failed, lets analyze and contemplate, and the next time we try it, lets fail better.

Friday, 19 December 2014

Why Indians should sympathize with the Pakistan attacks inspite of the insane accusations.

So, there is some outrage as to how Pakistanis are reacting and accusing India of the attack, wishing that Indian children were victimized and how we should be concerned about our security before sympathizing with them . Well, here's what I have to say about it.



Firstly, for the question about security and hatred. Why not do both? Up our security and be nice to them. Being nice doesn't mean we are weak. And not sympathizing would be a really shallow thing to do. We're humans and that too Indians, peace loving caring, INDIANS, we can't not sympathize with them. We simply aren't capable of such monstrous behavior.

And now as far as sympathizing is concerned (if you still can't find a good enough reason to sympathize)
The world is first sorry because children died and then because Pakistanis died. Children who hadn't yet completely understood the world or its games died. Children who didn't yet understand terrorism(or religion for that matter of fact) were victims of it.
                              Richard Dawkins says in his book "The God Delusion" that - "A child is not a Christian child, not a Muslim child, but a child of Christian parents or a child of Muslim parents" and this is what we need to comprehend. Children are the same everywhere. Indian or Pakistani doesn't matter. In the end its little souls that were going to be the face of tomorrow that passed away. Innocent breaths that stopped and tender emotions that were sacrificed. All in the name of I don't know what. Religion? Greed? Anger?
                       Be sorry that so many dreams died without flowering. Sympathize with the attacks not because it gives you a new media trend to follow or a topic of discussion in groups but  because a little piece of humanity was lost. If nothing, sympathize in the name of humanity. After all, we're kind. Lets make kindness our strength. ‪#‎Peshawarattacks‬ ‪#‎innocentsouls #indiaiswithpakistan







Stories went untold,
And dreams couldn't unfold.
Today with candles we mourn,
But will we tomorrow?‬

Sunday, 11 May 2014

THE SUPPRESSED BUTTERFLIES - 1

You would not believe your eyes,
if ten million fireflies,
lit up the world as we fell asleep.
You would not believe your eyes
if ten million little smiles,
lit up the world as we set them free.


Millions. Maybe more than that.
Millions of smiles of little girls that will light up the world with
their innocent little smiles if you set them free.
If you, I apologize, if we set them free.
If  we set them free.



Its midnight.
Zehen is sleeping on her
mattress on the floor.
She doesn't like the mattress on the floor. She doesn't understand why she can't sleep on the bed like her husband.
But  alas, she isn't allowed to.
When her husband is out, she lays on the bed, enjoying the comfort of a warm, soft bed. Like she was doing today.
With her eyes closed but ears wide open. "Zehen do you
know this sum?" "zehen knows everything" "zehen is so smart" "zehen
will became a doctor! 100% zehen will become a doctor"
Voices echoed through her head as the pictures of her past came to her.
*snap* she was startled.
Forced back into reality.
Her husband had just slapped her.
She had been lost in her
Dreams.How she lost track she wasn't sure.But alas, reality. Her
husband mumbled a few words, cursed her. Pushed her asking her
to go away. She did. Although he was her husband she stayed away from
him as much as possible. Just gave him meals and tea and walked away.
Not a word.
The one who kept her hope alive, was the one who killed her husband's.
Their lovely little daughter "Sania". That cheerful little kid reminded
her of her merry childhood.
Her childhood that was snatched before it was over even.
Their Angel like daughter that her pathetic husband called so often
"the result of zehen's sins".
Why he hated her so much?
Because their that little child was a girl?
Yes. Because he wanted a son but he got what?! A Frigging daughter. A
little girl that was so cheerful,a little girl that was so innocent.
Yes. That's what he got, a frigging daughter! And now he wanted a son.

He was going to fuck her again. When? She didn't know. She was thankful every night when he didn't touch her.
He was determined to get a son even if it meant Zehen's death. All he cared about was his legacy, and Zehen was just a medium. Zehen gave birth to a girl, so now, she was the only one between him and his legacy. He didn't care about Zehen's health or life back then, and he wouldn't do that now either. Zehen
was too young when sania was conceived. The doctor suggested abortion
when she got pregnant. She told him she thought the doctor was right.
What did she get? A kick on her three months old pregnant belly. When
she cried out in pain, he slapped her ordering her to not utter a moan
even or he would kill her. She knew he wouldn't hesitate in killing
her so she just lay there weeping silently.
The same mattress that she slept on every night till date.
Her daughter's voice broke her chain of thoughts. Her daughter, a little girl of ten,
smiling, telling her father about all the things that she learned at
school that day.
And he pushed her away, asked Zehen to take her away and teach her
some household work. "nobody will marry this daughter of yours" he
always said.
"Marry her off to some fool like you, never!" thought Zehen. Zehen
couldn't let what had happened to her, happen to her daughter. She.
Just. Couldn't.
That day still haunted her.
The day when everything changed. The day when her childhood ended. The
day her dreams of becoming a doctor ended.
It was the day when her 10th standard result was declared. She
woke up that morning. Oh how excited she was! Everything was normal. Her mom and
dad wished her luck. She went to school to collect the result. She passed with flying colours. Oh She was so happy! "A doctor zehen,  you'll become a doctor" She said to
herself as she walked back home with a large smile on her face.
When she got back, there were people there. People she had never seen
before in her life.
Father's friends She assumed. She thought he must've called them to
celebrate her result!

But little did she know that her life was about to change. Little did she know that, that was the end of her dreams.
As soon as she entered, her mother pulled her to her room, took away
the report card and put it in the cupboard. Mother looked tensed. She didn't congratulate her for her marks even. She couldn't understand. What was going on? She then gave her a burkha to wear and took her to the kitchen
and told her to serve tea to the man sitting at the centre of the sofa. "Who's
he?" "some teacher?!" "am I getting private classes!?" . Before her mother could explain anything to her, her father's voice shushed her.
He was calling her. Her mother told her just two things "honey she's
your to be husband"  and "never talk about studies after this"
"what?! What was mother saying?" all her dreams that were soaring high just
15 min ago, what about them?
Was mother serious?
She knew very well the custom of child marriage.
But that happening to her?!
She was broken. Tears rolled down her eyes. Her mother wiped them. Her
mother could see, what that did to her. She could understand her woe.
But it was a custom. Society's custom. They couldn't not do it. If you
want to live in the society, you have to do what everyone else does.
Marry off your daughter before she is 17.
That's what was happening.
Zehen was a 15 year old getting married to a man in his late 20s.
She went to give the tea. The man looked at her. Ran a finger down her
soft yet wet cheek
and looked at her with a typical vision that pig like males look at women with.
Baby makers, sex objects that can be used and reused by as many men and
as many times as desired. They had no rights, obviously.
"They can be beaten, thrashed, raped and dumped.
Its all yours, pleased enjoy.
And please do not bother to care about their feelings."
(I wonder if they had an add like this when they sold women)
zehen was soon going to be a part of it. She wanted to run. She wanted
to hide, she wanted to die.
She was ready to go through anything,anything but to be With him, anything but to get married to a guy twice her age.She begged and begged to her parents to
not let that happen. But they said their hands were tied. The
husband's father was a prominent person in the society. He threatened Zehen's father.
had Zehen's father not given up Zehen, the man would have killed the entire family.
Today was the day.
Zehen was being "given away" to the man.
Given away like she was a goat. Her flesh was all that mattered.
The next thing she knew she was saying "kabool hai" and after that,
she was a wife.
A 15 year old wife to a 28 year old husband.
That night, he raped her.
He did it again every night.
Drunk. And mad.
Every night it'd be the same thing. He did it till she got pregnant
with sania. She was just 16 years and 8 months when sania was
conceived.
Abused. Raped. Lifeless. That was her state when
she conceived her angel.
She was on the verge of passing away when giving birth. God only knows
how she came out alive.
She always believed that  God gave her life again so that she could
Protect her baby angel. So that she could save sania from being a
victim of her own fate.

 Sania is now 10. Like a 10 year old child, she
is brimming with innocence and curiosity. Beautiful. Like an angel.
Dreamer. Lover of life. Zehen's Hope.
Zehen was determined. To change things. To see her baby girl become a
doctor or designer or a writer. "Just whatever she likes, I'll let her
pursue it!"
zehen had five years to change things. Before her husband marries
sania off to some 28 year old.
And zehen will not let that happen. SHE WON'T.She plans on running away with
sania to another city. She has been saving money since 10 years and
now its time.
Its time to leave the mattress. Time to stand up. Time to break free
from the claws of senseless cultural restrictions.
It was Time to let sania shine.

You would not believe you eyes,
if ten million little smiles,
lit up the world as we set them free.

Sania's smile is one of those ten million or more smiles that are
suppressed by the society's Cultural restrictions. It is about to be
set free and I can see the glow already. Zehen did her job. What are you
doing to lift yourself up from the society's petty rules?!
Are you helping a sania?
Can the world count on you to make it a little bit brighter and better place?!
Can the millions of Sanias count on you, that you'll let them become
doctors,designers,lovers,artists??
Are you making a better tomorrow?
If so,
Are your ready for a better tomorrow?
WAKE UP. SPEAK UP.

note:- this blog is the first part of "the suppressed butterflies". This was to make people realize the pathetic  and disgusting side of the society that we live in. The next part shall focus on where we stand today  on the subject. stay tuned!

Friday, 9 May 2014

THE DREAMERS ( #voteforchildren )

Today I'm worried. I'm worried because I have to give my entrances and then results.Then I have to make decisions regarding colleges and fields. Will I get into a good college? what will my friends think of my choice? or would I even make any new friends in the new college? How would the new people be? What would the world be like? I'm curious. I'm scared and I'm worried about tomorrow. Sounds normal right? Like every other teen's story? It does, doesn't it?! 
But it isn't. It isn't every other teen's story. Its the story of those teens whom we come across everyday. Privileged, taking everything for granted, "cool", teens. Teens like you and me, reading this on the screens of your smartphones, sitting in a supercooled room, drinking cold and fulfilling beverages and yet finding themselves to be not fortunate enough. Calling themselves unfortunate because they do not have an Iphone 5S.
Unfortunate eh?
Makes you wonder about the mountain of things that a child labour or someone unprivileged  would have to complain about. No smartphone, no cool Places, no soothing drinks and above all that a cruel boss that makes other's kids work so that he could give his own kids an iphone 5S. If these privileged teens are so grumpy then just think how grumpy the actually unprivileged would be! But do they complain? Have you ever heard a child labour complain about not having an ac or a smartphone? Have you? Just look at the kid in the picture! What do you think?
The most I think they ask for is "mujhe bhi padhna hai. Mujhe bhi school jana hai "(even I want to study, even I want to go to school)
how can they complain?
How can he who doesn't know what comes after 4 complain about not having an iphone that was released after iphone4? To him all the smartphones are "bade logo k paas hota hai". To him all the chocolate cakes are "a dream rarely savoured ". To him going to school in a used and torn uniform is bliss. To him that last little piece of pencil that we throw away because its too small is a gift. He doesn't have dreams like
Owning a buisness. For him coming out of his poverty and breaking free from his employer would be a great achievement in itself! Eating proper meals two times a day would be heaven! They do not blame their parents like we do. These kids, survival is their priority. Getting out of that poverty is their priority. Can you imagine? can you imagine having to fight for survival at that age? Can you imagine a child that small, being abused? Being robbed of your right and chance to dream and grow and develop? Being robbed of a shot at future that every child deserves?
We have doctors and Facebook accounts for dogs even. Then how did we forget these children?
We didn't forget because we had to but we forgot because we would rather be in our heavenly abodes with our phones and pets rather than be confronted by some ugly truth.
Isn't it?
Children whose minds are so open, so fresh, so curious, so innovative, are not allowed to use them for dreaming and imagining instead they are forced to worry about money, forced to deal with discrimination,
would you be ok if your child wasn't educated? If your child went through all this?
You wouldn't keep your child uneducated in the first place. Never.
we care so much about our own children then why do we not care about the ones toiling for food and a bed to sleep on?
THEY ARE NO DIFFERENT. The truth is nobody wants to take responsibility for them.

But, we have to, because,
We as a society are responsible for this.
We as a society are responsible for the child whose dream was crushed.  The child looks up to its own society for inspiration, for guidance. 


Now its time to act upon that responsibility, be that inspiration, be the guide.

its time for a change. Its your time to be the change.
So this election vote for the 126 lakh children who are toiling, vote for the 140 lakh children that can't go to school, vote for a change.


note:-

This post is a part of the #Vote4Children Blog-a-thon on Youth Ki Awaaz. Find out more at:  http://www. youthkiawaaz.com/vote4children